Relapse. (just checking you saw that in there).
Yes relapse is part of the process. You can call it whatever you want.
This isnt just restricted to drugs and alcohol either.
Think about healthy eating, exercise, drinking water etc.
Now when people describe this, its not actually a fair representation of what happens, as its a cycle, makes it sound like a circle, people might feel like they are going round and round.
But you are not.
This is why we will refer to it as the bicycle of change.
Because yes, we are human, yes we are learning machines, yes we learn by making mis-takes. But we keep moving forward.
We learn from our alcohol free days, our days when we dont drink very much, our reductions, as well as our moments when we have a blip.
And we move forward, might not feel like it sometimes.
But you do, I can hear it.
Remember to take time to focus on your progress, to recognise whats working for you.
Take my first 11 days, I did 10 days with nothing, I was super motivated 100%, then massive blip on epic proportions. All that did was cement for me that I was ready to move on, that I didnt want that for myself anymore. But also how easy it was to do what I had always done. Habit, association, yes because I am human and thats how we work.
Of course if I go out, with the same people I used to drink and take drugs with, to the same place, in the early days, of course I was going to drink, take drugs. I wasnt thinking, I didnt think it through.
But I can tell you, after that I did 100%, I made decisions after that to make sure I didnt put myself in that situation, because that was important to me.
I spoke to a women yesterday, nothing unusual about that, she was mortified as she had, had a drink, yet she had done 3 months alcohol free. Bloody brilliant, after years of daily drinking. I mean just fantastic, that is to be celebrated.
But not only that, it was clear why she did, life happened, she stopped using her tools, all the things that help her to live her life and feel good, important stuff like, structure, connection, exercise.
Now here is the thing, we all get blown off course, even the most disciplined of us, even me and I teach this stuff. Trick is to recognise, Ooo I am off course, time to get back on track.
This doesnt mean time to give up, beat yourself up, stay in guilt and shame, over what?
Life will happen, we dont know when, but we know it will, some of us get more life than others, for no reason. Learning how to deal with it, stay flexible, re group, get back on track is the key here. Use your support.
Phew that went on a bit, but its important.
Progress not perfection.
Bicycle of change credit to Dr Helen Bellfield.
Message me if you need support with changing your relationship with alcohol and/or Cocaine.