Well, let’s face it; we will be talking about this regularly I think.
This isn’t the case for everyone, but bare with me. You have had a bad day, an argument with your partner, a run in with your boss or your teenager is being a teenager. Anyway, life happens, stuff happens, sometimes every day and it can provoke negative feelings in us.
If you have been a drinker or a drug user, then you could have got into the habit of pouring a glass of wine to take the edge off a bad moment or day to change how you feel.
It’s quick, it’s effective. It doesn’t take much effort or planning. You may not even realise you are doing it for that reason.
You open the bottle, pour a glass, take a sip and you feel better, or you forget.
But maybe you have reached the point where alcohol isn’t your friend anymore. You have had enough. Enough of the hangovers, feeling like rubbish, drinking too much and not knowing quite what you did the night before. Or maybe it’s just costing you a bit too much.
You make the decision to stop, great. Happier, healthy life here we come.
But a week in, the life thing happens. And you feel cross, pissed off, angry, sad or stressed. You don’t like the feeling.
There are a number of things you can do:
· You can go down the “sit with it road”, it’s just a feeling it won’t kill you. Sit with it, it will pass, I promise. You can process it, not every negative emotion has a meaning though. Learn from it. Although this maybe a bit of a stretch though if you are not used to dealing with your negative emotions without booze or drugs.
· Distraction can really work in the early days, and let’s be honest for the rest of your life. I am not saying distract all the time, because sometimes we really need to process what is happening and figure it out, and its ok to feel it really is. Although it takes some practice I know.
· Exercise is a great one, but does require some effort. What we are looking for is quickies and not a chocolate bar either.
· Music is amazing for this. It can be an instant state (emotions) changer. Just think back to when you were in a car and your favourite song comes on the radio. You are instantly taken back to a good memory and it changes how you feel. Know what your power tunes are. Music you can play that instantly changes how you feel in a good way. Not your tune from your first love, you don’t want to provoke sad memories. One of the ladies in the group had a brilliant suggestion to create a happy playlist. Bloody great idea. So, if you are struggling with anything. I know I write about addiction and habits so it’s all focused on when you stop drinking or partying. But this works for any negative emotion. Take some time out and create your happy playlist. Then when you need it, there it is, your bottle of wine substitute. Quick, easy, effective and good for you. Win Win.
Stephanie Chivers is a habit, addiction specialist. Curator of the Women Who Dont Drink, come and join us if you want to change your relationship with alcohol. It’s a non-judgemental, supportive group.
To find out more go to https://www.ichange21.com/