This can be one of the biggest worries for people when they decide to take a break, or even stop, drinking.
You’ve made the decision you want to stop drinking, you’ve had enough of the hangovers, feeling sick and tired, spending too much money. Whatever the reason, you are clear you are ready.
That’s great. You feel able to deal with work colleagues, even with your friends and family.
But you are single and you want to meet someone. Feeling great, with your new healthy hangover- free life and ready to start dating.
Most people go on a first date in a bar and order an alcoholic drink. There are so many reasons why we do this. Habit, its just what you always do when you are on a date, you are in a bar, you are so nervous its ridiculous, there are lots of reasons.
If you have a drink you relax, but sometimes you drink the first drink too fast, then have another one and drink a bit too much. Particularly if you have a liking for alcohol. Whether the person you are meeting is a drinker or not, it’s never advisable to drink too much on a first date, I’m sure I don’t have to give you all the reasons why. Too much alcohol is not a good look, saying things you wished you hadn’t, over-sharing, perhaps having a sexual encounter you later regret. Most of us would identify with some of these experiences - and the list goes on.
Whether you are taking a break from alcohol or you are cutting alcohol out of your life for good, there are some practical things you can do to help you cope with dry-dating.
· Suggest the venue - meet in a coffee bar during the day, or do an activity. There are so many things you can do on a date that don’t have to include alcohol.
· For most of us, the biggest problem is feeling nervous about meeting someone new, or meeting someone you fancy. This is normal on a first date, even the first few dates.
· Feeling nervous, is just a feeling. It will pass, you won’t feel nervous forever - especially if the date is going well.
· What can help is to focus on the other person (after all, that’s why you are there). If they are nervous, spend time making sure you put them at their ease. When you focus on them you forget about how you feel and then hopefully they relax, then you can both relax, have a nice conversation and get to know each other.
· One of the best things about dry-dating is really being able to get to know the other person, being present, paying attention, listening and having a good conversation. Which all helps you to figure out - do you want to see them again? If every time you meet you are drinking, you are not really paying attention.
Have fun dry-dating! And let me know how you get on, via Facebook or twitter pages.
Stephanie Chivers is a habit/addiction specialist and creator of https://www.ichange21.com/ 21 day self help programme that can teach anyone how to reduce, stop or gain control of their bad habits or addictions.