How I began to hate Fridays and what I did to learn to love them again.

Friday!  Best day of the week!   What if Friday became your nemesis?  What if the weekend became nothing but a test of your resolve; a mirror reflecting the worst of you?

In my twenties I worked in the city.  Most Friday’s we’d have a boozy lunch and hit the bars around 4pm!  I’d wake Saturday mornings anxiety ridden! Where did we go after 6pm?  Did I eat? How the hell did I get home?  Yet, Saturday and Sunday I’d be drinking again with friends.  Back on the merry-go-round I couldn’t jump off.  Everyone was having fun, right? 

Monday mornings we’d recount Friday night’s antics.  Only I was acting!  I had no clue how the night ended.  I had no memory of falling down. How did they remember?  Surely, they’d drank as much as I did?  Sound familiar?  Friday to Sunday spent pinballing...

Ok, let’s talk about belief.

Do you believe in yourself?

Its not a question we get asked very often, or even ask ourselves.

We have all seen this quote: “If you believe you can, you can”. But do you?

Self-belief comes up in my 1-1 coaching quite a bit. Whether we are working on reducing the drugs or alcohol, getting the dream job, or just living a life on your terms. Do you believe you can? Is it possible for you?

Do you believe that anything is possible? When I ask this, I usually get back, “Well yes for other people I can see that, but not for me.”

Here is the thing, we are all human beings. If you can find one person that has done what you want to do, with a similar background then, if they can, you can.

That doesn’t mean it will come easy, sometimes we have to apply ourselves, learn, persist, review, ask for help, find a good teacher, do the work etc.

But we can learn anything right? If we apply ourselves. You have learnt how to walk, how to...

I have no idea why it has taken me so long to write a blog on alcohol and sex. They are two of my favourite subjects to talk about, not together of course.

I spent a bit of time with a female friend recently and we got talking about sex, like you do.  So many of her sexual experiences involved alcohol, which left her with an uncomfortable feeling. Questioning her experiences. Did she really want to have sex with that person? Was she really consenting? It all felt a little, rushed, sloppy and forced.  Add to that the usual anxiety, guilt, shame and questioning: “what did I do and say last night?” etc. You know those awful flashbacks you get where you think OMG, did I really swing from the chandelier? It’s a recipe for disaster.

That got me thinking, how many of us have had unsatisfactory sexual, intimate encounters because we have drunk too much?

I like to think I have quite a good attitude to sex. I am open minded, confident, happy to play and experiment,...

We are what a fellow scientist recently called, a ‘hairy bag of salty water’: 60% of the human body is water and fluid losses need to be replaced to support vital body functions, help our skin and overall wellbeing. Even slight dehydration of 2% can lead to reduced brain power and headaches.

 Why should you drink more?

 Your sense of thirst is unreliable. Once you feel thirsty, you are already dehydrated. You may have a glass of water beside your bed and drink occasionally during the night, but you will still be dehydrated in the morning. Tea and coffee count towards your fluid intake but don’t overdo it. 2-3cups per day are enough. 

We lose water during the day – excretion, digestion and sweating will result in water loss but even through breathing you lose fluids which need to be replaced to create a water balance in the body. 

Once you are dehydrated, several body functions will suffer and organs perform less efficiently: your blood...

I know this is going to be controversial, but it’s ok, I am ready for it. I am writing this because essentially, I want you to be happy, it’s about quality of life, we only have one life. So please don’t waste it giving yourself a hard time or being wasted.

Now this blog isn’t for everyone, so be honest. If you are someone that can’t stop once they have 1 drink, then this isn’t for you. If you are someone that puts themselves and others at risk when they drink, this isn’t for you. If you are someone that has a mental health issue or any physical health problem’s, then this isn’t for you.

You can drink less and feel better. You can let go of that endless internal dialogue. Beating yourself up over why you can’t do the year alcohol free.

Please don’t compare yourself. Not everyone can, wants to, or needs to be abstinent.

Stop it right now.

Start with this, is alcohol a problem for you? What are the negative effects of...

 Maybe it's your first time, second time, it doesn’t matter. But you have just done 30 days or so without alcohol, woohoo, go you.  Even if you didn’t manage it 100%, if you did most of it that’s pretty good.

Hopefully you feel good; really good.  You are sleeping better, you look better, feel better, hell, people have even noticed. There is something different about you.  Glowing skin, it's easier to work out, your working day is so much easier, there's no more days wasted with hangovers, the list goes on. But the bottom line is you feel happier, healthier and life is easier.  Who wouldn’t want that?  It's like a magic pill in reverse. 

So, if you feel that good why would you go back to drinking?

Obviously, I would love it if you continued being alcohol free, given that you feel great why wouldn’t you want more of that?  Come on, tell me why you want to feel tired, low, anxious, embarrassed, sluggish, puffy and...

I had one of those classic moments in my life where everything goes wrong and you find yourself exactly where you don’t want to be. 

Even though it was the worst day of my life it also turned out to be one of the best; although I didn’t know it at the time. 

Alcohol was a huge factor in what was going wrong for me.  Well I am not saying it was alcohol’s fault, obviously it was 100% my responsibility, however when I stopped drinking it made a huge difference to my life.

A lot of people drink, a lot of people drink too much, and mostly people don’t seem to think this is an issue.  However, I want to put it to you a different way. Try this: take a break from alcohol, 30 days or maybe 90 days.  It doesn’t have to be a huge amount of time, then see what the difference is.  I guarantee you, your life will improve. 

On a simple, logical level, think about these factors:  alcohol impacts on our sleep, our emotional...

It’s that time of year again……….Christmas party season.

I know I cant believe I am talking about it, but we need to.

It can be a real test for those of us that have given up something or are struggling to gain control.  Or maybe you’re someone that struggles to regulate your intake of anything.

It depends on what your poison of choice is as to how difficult the Christmas party may be.

Alcohol is probably the top one, it’s pretty much everywhere anyway, but something happens at Christmas that seems to make alcohol multiply like I have never seen before. Or is it just me!!?

Food and sugar is another hard one, the whole thing is about food.  What is it that happens to your place of work on the run up to Christmas. It seems to turn into a junk food feeding ground: pastries, cakes and chocolate you name it its available by the bucket load.

So what can you do if you are alcohol free, on a healthy diet, attempting to reduce or even just want...

Does your job cause you stress? Do you struggle to get everything done and find it hard to switch off? Maybe you even struggle just to get the priorities done. You may have a difficult manager, colleagues, working environment or maybe there are changes happening. All these things can impact on our emotions at different times.

Maybe you have a big role, getting paid a significant amount and you just think this is how it is, its normal to struggle, feel stressed and wired.

Stop right there.

Stress can be a habit, a way of being, something that we get into or something that we just do and accept. Then we may drink to relax, to come down off the stress, or wind down at the end of the working day.

Before you know it, you are drinking 1 bottle of wine a night, maybe 2 bottles or more.

This is such a huge subject and one I could talk about for a whole day, but I will attempt to cover the most important points.

Bottom line, you don’t have to feel like this, I don’t care how...

Top Tips from the Ladies. 

In the UK in November it’s alcohol awareness week. I have participated in this for about 10 years in some way. Basically, it’s a good chance to raise awareness of different issues relating to alcohol.

This year is all about change.

So I thought I would ask the ladies in the amazing Women who dont drink Facebook group - "What is one thing you have changed, that helped you, to reduce, take a break or stop drinking?"

This is what they said:

I changed my mindset from, this is too big a challenge, I can’t do it, to: I am going to try, really try.

I can honestly say that the Women Who Don’t Drink group has helped me immensely. When I get a craving, I login to women who don't drink and read posts of ladies going through the same experience, encouraging one and other to stay focused as to why we chose to stay AF.

My mindset definitely but that only changed when I accepted that this was MY problem and took full...