People keep talking about it. But do you really know what it is and how to do it?
I love it when I talk to people about this and they just look at me confused.
Why? Why do I ask people to do this, or at least try it?
People come to me mostly because they are having problems with their drug or alcohol use. Then it’s the life stuff that comes next.
How do you live when you aren’t drinking or partying?
What do people do? How do they cope when things don’t work out?
The answers to this are too big for a blog or even a book. But maybe this will give you an idea of how to live in the moment, how to do it and what the benefits can be for you.
I got a text from a friend this morning. He is in the middle of a big life change and is finding things really overwhelming, feeling very emotional with lots of feelings of guilt and shame.
There is so much going on, change,...
You don’t want to tell your doctor or maybe you have spoken to them but it wasn’t really that helpful.
Some people will just be able to stop, gain control or reduce. There is so much information out there. But it’s hard to know who to listen to.
What if you can’t do it on your own, what then?
When I wanted to make a change, I was lucky there was a great trainer and therapist in my life that had already spotted me coming a mile off, so they were ready for the call. Also, in some weird way I was trying to help myself. The want was there, I wanted my life to be different I just didn’t know how.
If that person hadn’t been there I don’t know what I would have done, not in a bad way, just in a, don’t know where I would have got the help I needed...
Yes, you can read books, do courses and learn from people. Obviously, they are all good things to do. But none of it matters unless you are willing to do something about it and try things. And that’s the bit where people get stuck.
The thing is we don’t know until we try, the only way is through.
In fact, I would say that’s how most of us learn, through doing.
For instance when you first learn to drive you have no idea what you are doing. All of it seems weird, awkward, scary and confusing. You have to think really hard, pay attention and concentrate. You make mistakes, stall the car and kangaroo jump around the car park. Maybe you even feel scared and anxious. Or have doubts about whether you will even be able to learn. Thoughts of “will I ever pass my test” or “will I kill someone” running through your head.
I am going to go straight in with this. Alcohol is a drug (yes, it is). A drug is something you put into your system (take, drink) that effects how you think and feel. And alcohol definitely does that.
It can make you feel relaxed, sleepy, excited, disinhibited, more sociable, loud, aggressive, slur your words, have trouble walking, suffer from incontinence, vomit, have hallucinations, paranoia, anxiety, sweating, shaking and the list goes on. It has many effects on the body.
Alcohol is - a colourless volatile flammable liquid which is produced by the natural fermentation of sugars and is the intoxicating constituent of wine, beer, spirits, and other drinks, and is also used as an industrial solvent and as fuel.
If alcohol was re classified today it would be a class A drug up there with heroin and cocaine.
Apart from the obvious serious issues, there are many reasons why alcohol...
Life its happening now, right this moment.
This moment will never happen again.
I struggle with the whole one life thing. Not that I believe that anything else happens. I don’t. I do really think that’s it, curtains, the end, finito.
That’s the thing with death. It’s very final.
There is no coming back and saying, oh I just need to apologise to so and so, or tell someone you love them.
I don’t know about you though, but death makes me feel alive. It reminds me that, yes this is it. So make it count. Am I living how I really want to be living? Is my life working for me? If I was to die in 3 months what would I do?
Why the ramblings about life and death I hear you say. Well my dad died recently. Hence why I have been a little quiet. Although it’s sad, he was 71. He lived his life, he really did. He travelled, was very active, very sociable and did what he wanted when he wanted. A life to be...
Most of my learning comes from working with and listening to thousands of people. Yes, I have read the research and the books and taken part in a lot of training. But nothing really compares to working with and listening to people that have done it.
People who have stopped and reduced: their drinking, their partying or their drug use and have changed their lives. It doesn’t have to be people that have come back from the dead. Everyone I have worked with has a story. These are people from all walks of life: rich, poor, old, young. Getting into trouble with booze, drugs, food or gambling doesn’t discriminate. It doesn’t care if you work, whether you have money or where you come from. It can effect anyone and everyone.
Here is a collection of some of my favourite little pieces of wisdom from those that have been there and are still doing...
There have been a few articles recently about the perils of using cocaine, one in particular by a dentist talking about how cocaine use can lead to a hole in the roof of your mouth. I personally don’t find articles like this useful. There are many reasons why we should really think twice about using cocaine, however worrying about a hole appearing in the roof of our mouths probably isn’t one of them.
It’s scaremongering - how many people do you know who have used cocaine, even large amounts, with no adverse physical health effects? So let’s be honest and talk about the real reasons; the reasons that might make people like us, with a conscience, think twice about their little weekend boost.
Let’s start with where it comes from and how it gets to you.
Trust me, your cocaine isn’t fair trade. Are you someone that buys organic veg? Fair trade coffee? But then buys a few grammes at the weekend for fun?
There are estimated...
The Rules for Moderation, after a break.
Maybe you have taken a break. Stopped for a while. Done dry January or even given up for a year. It’s been great, interesting, you have learnt a lot and you feel healthier and happier. However, now you want to have a drink, just the one. “Ones ok, right?”
I get asked this question a lot. People can take a break or give up. They can change their lives so things are working. But then what?
Do you start drinking again?
Is it ok to drink again?
Hopefully you know by now I am not the fun police. I am all about helping you to live a life that works for you. Its cheesy but true – live the life of your dreams. And we all know if you are drinking or using drugs that’s not really going to work.
You don’t have to be abstinent forever unless you want to. Or it would cause significant problems if you started drinking or partying again. Some people...
And it doesn’t necessarily mean there is a problem with that, it’s just something isn’t working. Maybe they can’t sleep, their relationships not working, are feeling anxious and so on. Alcohol, drugs, caffeine all these things can be a contributing factor.
We start by stripping it back. Stop the drinking, the drug use, the excessive caffeine consumption, (I can hear you say why caffeine?) the thing with coffee and I mean weapons grade coffee which more of us our drinking now is, it’s a stimulant. It also comes in variable strengths, so...
6-8 Units could be: 3 x 175ml glasses of wine = 6.9 units.
Or 4 pints of lager = 8 units
This depends on the strength of the lager and wine. Also, the size of your wine glass.
It’s easier to think of a binge more in terms of drinking a lot in one go over a short period. So, you go out and you get drunk within a couple of hours. I think we all know whether we binge or not.
It’s the nights out that we can’t quite remember, when we spend the day after piecing together what happened. The weekend spent feeling terrible: ill, sick, headache, bad stomach, embarrassed and eating way too much comfort food to get through the hangover.
Maybe these feelings even tip into feeling depressed and anxious into Monday and Tuesday.
What Can You Do to Help...