Top tips for dating without alcohol.

Yes, it is possible.  Trust me - I do it pretty much 99% of the time.

This can be one of the biggest worries for people when they decide to take a break, or even stop, drinking.

You’ve made the decision you want to stop drinking, you’ve had enough of the hangovers, feeling sick and tired, spending too much money. Whatever the reason, you are clear you are ready.

That’s great. You feel able to deal with work colleagues, even with your friends and family.

But you are single and you want to meet someone.  Feeling great, with your new healthy hangover- free life and ready to start dating.

Most people go on a first date in a bar and order an alcoholic drink.  There are so many reasons why we do this.  Habit, its just what you always do when you are on a date, you are in a bar, you are so nervous its ridiculous, there are lots of reasons.

If you have a drink you relax, but sometimes you drink the first drink too fast, then have another one and drink a...

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The 3 Biggest Mistakes People Make.

There are some common mistakes people make when they are starting to reduce, take a break or stop drinking or doing drugs.

These are the 3 biggest ones that I see. Read this and then make sure you apply yourself in these areas to give yourself the best chance:

1.       They don’t do anything.

By this I mean, they want to reduce, take a break or stop. It doesn’t matter what it is, but they expect it to just happen. They may just decide they want to do it and actually manage to stop for a few days or a couple of weeks.  But you stand a much better chance if you take positive steps towards your goal by doing something different than you have done before. Educate yourself: read books, read blogs, learn from others, exercise, eat healthy food, talk to people, watch videos, listen to podcasts, get a hobby, anything. Just do something and keep doing somethings.  Which leads me on nicely to number 2.

 

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Taking care of me.

alcohol peoples stories Nov 22, 2017

I have been drinking since the age of 18. I am now 60.  In all that time I have brought up 3 children on my own, cared for elderly parents until they died, lost a younger brother in a plane accident and now become a granny!

Throughout all that time I have never taken care of myself as other people needed me. Having stopped drinking for 3 months now, I know it’s early days, I have really learned “The value of me”.

Suddenly, what I want, counts and learning to nourish myself in different ways has been a revelation! I have found that people like me now, just as much as they did before.  I am still witty and funny (even more so with a clear head) and that came as quite a shock.

Suddenly I don’t have to pretend that I’m this crazy extrovert just to be accepted. I am loved for me and that has enabled me to love myself.
I want this for everyone now! Each of us has a nugget of gold within us no matter how much at times we despise ourselves. ...

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The Advantages and Disadvantages of Drinking.

alcohol peoples stories Nov 03, 2017

I have had the privileged of working with many people.  Supporting, teaching and guiding them to ditch the booze.

This is a little blog written by one of those ladies.

Have a read and see what you think and maybe think about what your list would look like?

Advantages of drinking: (for me)
Relaxing.
Pleasurable, I enjoy the taste.
World seems nicer, blurry, softer.
Fit in with other people doing the same.
Makes me sociable, more friendly.
Able to watch rubbish TV.
Partner looks more attractive.
Care less what others think.
Problems seem smaller.

Disadvantages of drinking:
Hangover.
Not present, blurred memories of happy occasions.
Lack of respect from others.
Loss of reputation.
Figure to poke fun at.
Lack of self respect.
Shame and Guilt.
Weight gain, bloatedness.
Lethargy.
Long term health implications.
Financial.  Wine costs!
Loss of time due to being 'out of it' or battling hangover.
Plus many more I can't think of.

Advantages of not drinking:
No hangovers.
Present in...

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Me, Alcohol and my Mental Health

I have been a heavy drinker / binge drinker since I was 16.

At about the age of 17 my mental health started to deteriorate.  I experienced mood swings, paranoia and depression. I began to hate myself, my self-esteem and confidence became very fragile.  By the time I was in my final year at Uni stress and anxiety had firmly set in.  High drama often followed me around, all after a long night of drinking.  I was drinking at least 4 to 5 times a week and I wouldn’t take it easy. The morning after I would be overcome with crippling anxiety.

Just after graduation, I attempted suicide by overdosing on paracetamol.

After a year at home I had managed to get my act together again after counselling and anti-depressants – I still drank but to nowhere near the extent I had been doing, little did I understand the correlation. 

After leaving home again to work in London I spent quite a few years perfecting the skills of a “party girl” on the London...

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From existing to living.

alcohol peoples stories Oct 08, 2017

I’ve had a problem with alcohol for as long as I can remember. My first drink was a sip of the froth from the top of my dad’s Colt 45, aged 6. My parents always drank at home, daily, wine with dinner, liqueur coffees, it was the norm.

My parents were devout yet hypocritical Jehovahs Witnesses, I was brought up with very strict rules like I couldn’t socialise with anyone outside of the religion.  We didn’t celebrate Christmas, birthdays, valentines, easter, bonfire night, nothing, zilch, zero. My mum was very ill and I was her carer from a very young age. My dad was a violent man, I was abused in many ways.

Unsurprisingly living in this sort of environment I developed eating disorders as my weight was the only thing I felt able to have any control over. The drinking picked up pace from about age fifteen, mainly to make me feel brave or to make me forget.

I met my knight in shining armour at sixteen through work, I fell deeply in love and doted on him,...

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Party Girl to Alcohol Free Lady.

addiction alcohol habit Sep 14, 2017

If you have been a party girl for a significant time, going alcohol free can seem a bit daunting.

Initially you probably take a break because you need to. Or you feel shit, sick of the hangovers, spending way too much money, the feelings of not quite remembering what happened, embarrassment, the wasted days, the list goes on.  So, you are fired up, motivated, you can do a month and you feel great.

But what next?

If you are used to going out every weekend and having a fully booked social calendar; this can feel like a big lifestyle change.

I know, I have been there.  Always a party to go to, always something to celebrate, the whole year booked up.

When you stop usually you don’t hang out with your old friends so much. Particularly if they all still party.  There are very few people I know that take a break and continue with that lifestyle, but not many. There are many reasons for this the temptation being one of them. If you really don’t want to drink being...

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Personal Trainers You Need to Read This.  

alcohol habit Sep 06, 2017

Hello to all the personal trainers out there, I need to tell you something.

Quite frankly a lot of you are making a massive mistake and doing your customers a disservice.

I am guessing you do this job because you want to help people get fitter, feel healthier and happier, right?

All of that stuff?

I have seen quite a few blogs and posts recently from different trainers advising how to incorporate alcohol into your fitness programme.  I mean seriously, come on.

Just read that sentence. Yes, Personal Trainers and Fitness Experts teaching their customers how to still drink alcohol and achieve their fitness goals.  I wonder if they would say its ok to eat a cream cake everyday if you want to lose weight?

Personal trainers listen up.  There is nothing in alcohol that has any use for us.

I know you have heard about the anti-oxidants in the red wine and you have been telling your customers its ok to drink red wine because of this.

Let’s get this straight. For you to...

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When Did You Last Take a Trip to Treatsville?

alcohol habit life Aug 22, 2017

When you stop drinking or take a break from booze, if you are not careful it can feel like you are depriving yourself.

This is not the point.

I know for some, there will be a period of time when you may need to just stay away from the action and get your head down.  That’s ok for a few weeks, well even a few months if it’s been a big issue.  In fact, if it’s a big issue. You know, a big health scare, serious depression, anxiety, affected relationship or criminal record. I would advise that you do stay away from alcohol altogether for as long as possible.

That’s doesn’t mean you can’t have treats though, reward yourself.

This is so important.

The “I have had a hard day with the kids, a hard day at work, I need a drink” feeling. I deserve it I have worked hard, this Is for me. You know the type of thinking.

You’ve taken the booze away so what are you going to do instead.

If you don’t put anything else in, trust me,...

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I do……oh no actually I don’t.

Dealing with weddings alcohol free or at least not getting hammered.

I feel like all year round is wedding season these days. I’ve never been a massive fan of them, some of them go on so long. It’s all the waiting around for the next thing to happen that gets me

I don’t go to many as I have a mostly alternative friendship group where they are not married. I’m not even sure if we are that alternative anymore as less people are getting married.

I have had a few this year, weddings that is.

All very different, which is nice.

What’s clear is weddings are a massive boozy affair. Some more than others, I would love to see an alcohol-free wedding.  If you have been to one or are planning one let me know.

Anyway, because I have been to a few it’s got me thinking about how to enjoy a wedding without being carried out on a stretcher, and remembering what happened after 6pm.

 

Alcohol Free.

Let’s tackle the alcohol free one first.  Maybe...

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